[Cultivation+Nianxia+1v1+main attack+HE+sweet text]
A two-faced person with extremely low moral sense, a violent white tiger and a big cat, Mao Gong × cold and aloof, gentle and simple on the inside, a beautiful woman with a white moonlight style.
Have you ever seen the bright moon in the sky? I have seen that the bright moon once shone on me alone, and I protected the bright moon in a gentle and clear way.
Later, the bright moon returned to the high place and shone on tens of thousands of people. I stood in the crowd and listened to the praises and praises.
But there are always bedbugs who want to pull Mingyue off the altar and drag her into the mud to defile and possess her.
But luckily, big cats have a lot of strength and means. They can crush many of these things to death with one paw.
Reader comments
The plot is okay, I hope the rest of the plot won't be too cumbersome.
I can accept whatever else is said in the content, but the background, logic, writing, and main point of view are just some of the things I don't like [face covering]
Some of the background and past events of Ji Xuancheng and Ji Yunjian were not fully explained. In my impression, Xuan was picked up by Jian due to amnesia after the catastrophe. The two were together for five years, but Xuan never saw Jian again. In Chapter 17, Zexuan said that back then, I just didn't know whether Qing was a good bird or not, which made me confused. [When did Xuan Cheng meet Yunjian's former master? Have you ever seen Yunjian before? Do you know what's going on in Yunjian?
The logic is messy. Earlier Yun Jian said that he would use Fu Dao's first authority to assign Xuan and Lin to fight in the ring, but later it changed to Fu Dao competition. After the ring match, the two went to the ring and changed to Xuan's arrangement. [Conflict of intentions before and after is a mistake that should not be made.
What the hell is the Cloud Palace? After a few words, I saw the clouds and mist.
[There are too few scenes of Ji Xuancheng, all of them are Ji Yunjian. Isn't this the focus of writing? Looking at the first part, I thought that Ji Yunjian was not very good at causing trouble. Later in the plot, Ji Yunjian was over-portrayed, and it was basically Ji Yunjian, which made Ji Xuancheng useless and just fighting and scaring people. [The contrast between the front and back is too great]
[Also, I don't understand Yun Jian's character. If he really knows everything, and has the mind of an immortal sect competition, how can he manage himself like this? There was a dull moment at the end of the third chapter. I thought he was a solid person who devoted himself to studying and practicing. Xuan Cheng's confession also showed it. Xuancheng's role is to come out to work from time to time and write a few sentences? Isn't it that Xuan Cheng, who practiced killing and attacking in a certain dock, was acting like such a fool when discussing with Yun Jian how to plot against people?
[The main focus of writing is to focus on perspective. Why is it that the perspective is either describing the environment or the subject, and the perspective of the main focus of the article is followed by the attack! ! Where is the scene of going to explore Zixiao Palace and Lin's affairs? Why are they all scenes of suffering? How did you check it? Where is it? Whose body smelled like blood when he came back? The smell of blood probably means that the confession was forced. What did the forced confession reveal? Who was forced to confess? When you come back, just say a few words and give him a picture stone? [Then what is the significance of the smell of blood? Highlight the relationship between being attacked? Or is it a powerful protruding attack? That's not necessary. It's really unnecessary. It's too deliberate.
[If you want to write about two powerful people, you won't do it like this. The main focus of literary work is like a transparent man. His images and functions are conveyed in a few strokes. How many chapters can I write about the images of Shou? ? ? The environment of the final destination for Shou to be healed, the medicinal materials prepared, and a large scene of Shou being struck by lightning. [Write in detail the scenes that can be omitted, and skip them when you want to write in detail.
Finally, focus on writing! The main perspective is attacking! ! !
But I like both of them quite a lot, and I hope the author can change it [face covering]
Nice! The plot is novel and I have never seen it in other immortality novels! The writing is superb! Is this actually your first time writing? Great! There are a lot of things in the article that I haven't seen before! For example, Kanshui, Wutu, etc., So novel!
The plot is okay, I hope the rest of the plot won't be too cumbersome. I can accept whatever else is said in the content, but the background, logic, writing, and main point of view are just some of the things I don't like [face covering] Some of the background and past events of Ji Xuancheng and Ji Yunjian were not fully explained. In my impression, Xuan was picked up by Jian due to amnesia after the catastrophe. The two were together for five years, but Xuan never saw Jian again. In Chapter 17, Zexuan said that back then, I just didn't know whether Qing was a good bird or not, which made me confused. [When did Xuan Cheng meet Yunjian's former master? Have you ever seen Yunjian before? Do you know what's going on in Yunjian? The logic is messy. Earlier Yun Jian said that he would use Fu Dao's first authority to assign Xuan and Lin to fight in the ring, but later it changed to Fu Dao competition. After the ring match, the two went to the ring and changed to Xuan's arrangement. [Conflict of intentions before and after is a mistake that should not be made. What the hell is the Cloud Palace? After a few words, I saw the clouds and mist. [There are too few scenes of Ji Xuancheng, all of them are Ji Yunjian. Isn't this the focus of writing? Looking at the first part, I thought that Ji Yunjian was not very good at causing trouble. Later in the plot, Ji Yunjian was over-portrayed, and it was basically Ji Yunjian, which made Ji Xuancheng useless and just fighting and scaring people. [The contrast between the front and back is too great] [Also, I don't understand Yun Jian's character. If he really knows everything, and has the mind of an immortal sect competition, how can he manage himself like this? There was a dull moment at the end of the third chapter. I thought he was a solid person who devoted himself to studying and practicing. Xuan Cheng's confession also showed it. Xuancheng's role is to come out to work from time to time and write a few sentences? Isn't it that Xuan Cheng, who practiced killing and attacking in a certain dock, was acting like such a fool when discussing with Yun Jian how to plot against people? [The main focus of writing is to focus on perspective. Why is it that the perspective is either describing the environment or the subject, and the perspective of the main focus of the article is followed by the attack! ! Where is the scene of going to explore Zixiao Palace and Lin's affairs? Why are they all scenes of suffering? How did you check it? Where is it? Whose body smelled like blood when he came back? The smell of blood probably means that the confession was forced. What did the forced confession reveal? Who was forced to confess? When you come back, just say a few words and give him a picture stone? [Then what is the significance of the smell of blood? Highlight the relationship between being attacked? Or is it a powerful protruding attack? That's not necessary. It's really unnecessary. It's too deliberate. [If you want to write about two powerful people, you won't do it like this. The main focus of literary work is like a transparent man. His images and functions are conveyed in a few strokes. How many chapters can I write about the images of Shou? ? ? The environment of the final destination for Shou to be healed, the medicinal materials prepared, and a large scene of Shou being struck by lightning. [Write in detail the scenes that can be omitted, and skip them when you want to write in detail. Finally, focus on writing! The main perspective is attacking! ! ! But I like both of them quite a lot, and I hope the author can change it [face covering]
Nice! The plot is novel and I have never seen it in other immortality novels! The writing is superb! Is this actually your first time writing? Great! There are a lot of things in the article that I haven't seen before! For example, Kanshui, Wutu, etc., So novel!
Come on, teacher!