I, an Emperor and Food Delivery Guy, Was Hit by a Jade Seal and Transmigrated

On a stormy night, office worker Liu Xie caught his wife cheating and was struck by lightning. When he opened his eyes again, he had become Emperor Xian of Han, just as Dong Zhuo was forcing him to abdicate.

Before he could make sense of what was happening, a mechanical voice boomed in his mind: [Imperial Jade Seal binding successful. A modern-world passage will open for a limited time each day.]

He looked at the Xiliang cavalry glaring menacingly outside the palace and felt the smooth, warm ancient jade tucked in his sleeve.

Cao Cao holds the emperor hostage to control the lords? Liu Xie livestreams a court session in Xuchang instead, as a million viewers join in to berate him: “Boss Cao, the comments say you're playing dirty!”

Short on food? Refrigerated trucks drive straight into Luoyang. Short on money? Tang Sancai and celadon jars are traded for an entire production line.

Liu Bei weeps over the realm? Guan Yu has to defend Jingzhou? Liu Xie outfits them with drone patrols and GPS tracking, and the Five Tiger Generals' group chat instantly becomes an “efficient workplace collaboration platform.”

Zhang Gonggong, a construction worker he happened to pick up, becomes his chief eunuch and logistics director.

By day, he bows and scrapes in Weiyang Palace: “Your Majesty, Lu Bu is here to cause trouble again!”

By night, he squats in a modern rental apartment, frantically shopping on Pinduoduo: “Bro, this batch of composite bows is 20% off, and they throw in a quiver!”

And as for the beauties...

Diao Chan dances for virtual gifts, Cai Wenji talks history and literature in her livestream, and Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao teach Jiangdong etiquette over a video call.

Liu Bei and Sun Quan send him private messages: “Your Majesty, might we borrow that ‘celestial livestreamer’?”

With an arm around the princess, Liu Xie leisurely taps out a reply: “Send me 500,000 dan of grain, and I might consider adding a beauty filter.”

When LED battle flags rise above Hulao Pass and drones roar over Red Cliffs...

Zhuge Liang ponders as he waves a charging-bank fan bought online: “How can this heavenly mandate be even one step ahead of my ingenious stratagems?”

[Transmigration + political intrigue + wish fulfillment + cross-time business]