[Make Me Beat a Tiger with an Electric Mosquito Swatter from the Start? This System Has to Be Broken!]
Lin Feng transmigrates into Water Margin and gets bound to a “Rip Off Its Host Without Blinking” System.
Newbie gift pack: Jingyang Ridge, a hungry tiger, and, a rainbow-colored LED electric mosquito swatter crackling with electricity.
System: “Please use it to help Brother Wu Song out of a jam~”
Lin Feng looks at the tiny swatter in his palm, then at the white-fronted tiger with glaring eyes, three meters away, and falls silent.
From that day on, Water Margin becomes “Water Margin Gone Wrong”
Wu Song puts on the pink, glitter-covered “Wolverine claws” I gave him, their dazzling LED lights flashing...
Wu Dalang steps out in “Adidas Shortie Height-Boosting Shoes,” walking with a sexy catwalk...
When I ride my eight-hundred-jin wild boar mount, “Gangdan,” into the city, the guards’ alarm carries for eight hundred li: “Godzilla has landed! Repeat, Godzilla really has landed!”
Then Li Kui charges into my room, holding an axe with a chipped blade:
“Brother! They say you’ve got a chainsaw here that shoots blue flames??”
At that moment, Song Jiang, whom I’ve just “tutored” on how to write a petition for imperial pardon, quietly lights a third stick of incense in the Hall of Loyalty and Righteousness:
“Boss Lin... You can have Liangshan. I’ll write the petition. I only ask that you stop leading Gangdan into the Gathering Hall...”
And in my System’s inventory
Pan Jinlian’s anti-cheating chastity lock (delivered), Ximen Qing’s kidney tonic order (awaiting shipment), Gao Qiu’s smart soccer ball (out for delivery)...
And a new mission notification:
[Please help Sun Erniang upgrade her human-meat bun shop into a popular vegetarian restaurant.]
Me: ?
Hilarious Water Margin #TheSystemMakesMeDoRidiculousStuff #TheHeroesHaveAllLostIt
