Transmigrate into Marshal Tianpeng? Thanks for asking. I'm in a pigsty, and I just got bound to the [Underhanded Growth System]. Zhu Gang has arrived. The Journey to the West turns out to be a Buddhist plot to lay people off? Then I'll hole up in Gao Village and livestream sales, tricking Brother Monkey into forming the Avengers.
I'll keep posing as a sneaky nobody along the way: use Excel to assign White Bone Spirit's tribulations KPI targets, teach the Jade Rabbit Spirit to fly mooncake drones, and have the Spider Spirits spin silk into a 5G logistics network. The Buddhist establishment's blood pressure soars: Guanyin collapses from making deliveries, the Arhats are driven mad by a DJ's headband-tightening spell, and Tathagata tries to put me on trial in a livestream, only for the dance to "Kachusha of Elysium" to dominate the charts.
Then, on the day of the awards ceremony at Spirit Mountain, the Nine-Toothed Rake flips the table. "Fetch the scriptures? Fetch my ass!" A million demon troops descend, and my Chaos Demon body swallows Tathagata whole.
This pig's path to Buddhahood begins by tearing down your Thunderclap Monastery!
