I Was Just Making a Snarky Comment, So How Did I Become a Celestial Master?

My name is Lin Xiaoyue. My ideal life is to eat for free and wait for death, and my greatest talent is having a reaction time long enough to circle the globe twice. After inheriting the battered wooden box of my superstitious great-granduncle, my lie-flat life completely fell apart.

When other people see a ghost: They scream, run for their lives, and question everything they believe.

When I see a ghost: "Sis, where did you get that Sadako-style haircut? Your bangs are blocking your vision. Want me to recommend a hairstylist?"

When other people exorcise demons: Peachwood swords, black dog blood, and spells that shake heaven and earth.

When I exorcise demons: An upgraded anti-attack spray, a loudspeaker playing "Good Luck Is Coming," and, if necessary, a brick to the face. I specialize in practical exorcism and civilized spirit-banishing.

I thought this was just a part-time job, but it turned out to be a bottomless pit. The hopping corpses of western Hunan, demon brats from the West, Sadako from the videotape, Chu Renmei from the old house... Horror movie stars from China and abroad line up to hang out with me. Even more absurdly, one offhand remark of mine, "Why aren't you dead yet?" made a century-old vengeful ghost lose it on the spot and get exorcised right there!

Ever since, I've been surrounded by a group of "abnormal" companions: a sharp-tongued forensic doctor who insists science can explain every ghost and monster, a Vatican office-worker priest who has to file a report with his superior before performing an exorcism, and a fortune-bringing ghost obsessed with online shopping.

As we cheerfully dealt with one case after another, we unknowingly got caught up in a massive conspiracy called "Guixu." They want to bring horror into reality and turn the world into a realm of ghosts.

Faced with a supernatural wave sweeping the globe, my teammates looked grave, bracing for the worst.

I yawned, picked up my "Ultimate Hybrid Exorcism Spray," and beckoned to the mastermind behind it all: