Solitalia: the poorest, most chaotic country in a parallel world, and the one with no shortage of sunshine or bullets. It’s a “three-no” nation: no peace, no stability, and no money.
That is, until Tang Jin, an antisocial shut-in, botched her food delivery order and was kicked by the “Military Goddess System” all the way to Sand Valley Zero, with a fully equipped PLA base thrown in for good measure.
She wanted nothing more than to keep her head down until retirement, but the System forced her to get to work:
“Hey, your KPIs for today:
1. Pick up three female leads (express shipping already arranged);
2. Register a PMC company (automatically named ‘Rose Thorn’);
3. Get African nations lining up to call you the ‘Sixth Constant.’”
And so
Gu Xue'an, the icy sniper: blows up an opposition tank with one shot, then turns around and asks, “Hot pot tonight, or you?”
Ruan Yan, the demolition prodigy: treats TNT like chili sauce, tossing it into her rice and sending a warlord flying along with it.
Wen Chacha, the gentle medic: a tender cut, laxatives mixed into the anesthetic, and the client has to clench their cheeks while signing.
As for Tang Jin, she sits at the United Nations podium in Hello Kitty slippers, with braised chicken in her left hand and a Type 95-1 rifle in her right, jiggling her leg as she says:
“Quit glaring at me, or I’ll have Rose Thorn’s delivery guy, a WZ-10, bring you an invoice.”
Funny article, babies