When I Took the Green Tea Girl at Her Word, She Completely Lost It

I've always been simple-minded. If someone tells me something, I believe it, and I do exactly what they say.

My best friend gazed at a shop window and sighed. “This outfit is so beautiful. Whoever buys it for me can have me.”

I swiped my card on the spot, then bundled her up with the outfit and took them both home.

At a meeting, my boss declared, “If we double this quarter's sales, I'll get down on my knees for all of you.”

I worked with the team for three months. At the year-end party, I quietly placed a kneeling cushion in front of my boss.

My blunt honesty purged my social circle.

That is, until I met my boyfriend's childhood friend, a scheming little green tea.

At our first meeting, she spoke softly. “You look so healthy, sis. Unlike me, I'm naturally sensitive to the cold. My hands and feet are always freezing in winter.”

Without a word, I took off my boyfriend's brand-new limited-edition down jacket and wrapped it around her.

The next time we met, she sighed. “I'm so jealous that you're such a caring big brother. I hope the man I find someday will be at least half as good to me as you are...”

I immediately posted a matchmaking ad on my social feed: “Sincerely seeking a friend in need of a husband.” I attached her retouched photo and WeChat contact, along with the caption: “Lovely girl, gentle and considerate, urgently seeking a mature gentleman to cherish her. Time-wasters, don't apply.”

At today's gathering, she clutched her chest in front of everyone and gazed pitifully at my boyfriend. “Big brother, I've been feeling down lately, and my chest hurts...”

I immediately called 120. “Emergency services? Someone here has sudden angina, possibly a heart attack. Send an ambulance right away!”