Don't Mess with Our Village, or the Old Men Will Beat You Up

Whatever you do, don't come to Wolong Village! Especially in winter! I'm Wang Zhengnan, also known as Old Fourth Wang, and I'm warning you through my tears. I'm just a small-shop owner. I kindly rescued a young woman who was freezing to death in the snow, and the whole world went mad! First, a group of “outdoor enthusiasts” showed up, only to be knocked out cold after three bowls of liquor from the village elders. Then a special forces unit crept into the village in the middle of the night, only to get beaten senseless by a bunch of men averaging sixty years old, wielding kitchen knives and manure forks!

That's when I learned that these dirt-poor-looking old farmers were actually retired kings of the country's most secretive unit, Wolong! Grandpa Li, the butcher, used to be the unit commander. Lame Uncle Zhao was a demolition expert. Grandpa Sun, who carried his hunting rifle everywhere, was an ace sniper... And the young woman I rescued is the “highest-level secret” they vowed to protect with their lives. Now they've unanimously decided that I, the village's only college graduate, should become their successor.