Don't Mess with Our Village, I'm Afraid All the Old Men in the Village Will Kill You

Don't come to Wolongtun! Especially in winter! I, (Wang Laosi) Wang Zhengnan, gave my tearful advice. I was just a canteen owner, and I kindly saved a girl who was about to freeze to death in the snow, but the whole world went crazy! First, the "travelers" came to the door and were drunk by the village uncle with three bowls of wine until he was unconscious; then the special forces entered the village in the middle of the night and were beaten all over the floor by a group of old men with an average age of sixty years old with kitchen knives and dung forks! Only then did I realize that these old peasants in my eyes were actually retired soldiers of the most mysterious army in the country, the "Wolong"! Uncle Li who kills pigs is the captain of the army, lame Mr. Zhao is an explosives expert, and Uncle Sun who holds a shotgun every day is an ace sniper... And the girl I picked up is the "top secret" that they will protect to the death. Now, they have unanimously decided to make me, the only college student in the village, their successor.