[Hilarious + brainless wish fulfillment + sharp tongue + nonstop chatter + System + behind-the-scenes scheming + backlash + multiple heroines + absurd humor]
I'm awake? Then it's time to see all three thousand shades of mortal beauty and be the pear blossom pressing down on the crabapple.
“What? I don't have a body? Are you kidding me?! I wanted to roam the world as a rake, but instead I'm stuck as a bodiless spirit. How am I supposed to have fun now? And you even gave me a System. Tell me, how is a bodiless spirit supposed to complete your seduction quests? Come back! I can't handle this alone... my handsome, dashing body.”
A million-year-old sword spirit, 1+3, arrives in the capital of the Great Jing Dynasty with the ancient “Lover's Sword.” I just finished complaining that my new host is a “shit-basket hat” (say it with me: fun-gay-love) when I'm saddled with a deadly System...
I'm forced to do the job, becoming a “romance coach.” With my guidance, my Hosts all flourish in love and advance their careers, reaching the pinnacle of life. I'm enjoying myself, too, and I'm almost able to rebuild my physical body.
I always thought I was the one moving the pieces,
until I discovered that all the Hosts are fragments of my own “nourishment,” and every confidante is a remnant of the goddess Li.
The System forces me to sacrifice all my lovers to resurrect its true master.
The System says coldly, “Spirit tool, your mission is to sacrifice yourself and resurrect the mistress.”
Heh. So I'm the ultimate pawn after all.
Now the System is in my hands, and its power is inside me. You mastermind who's been plotting for a million years, watch closely
I grin and raise my middle finger at the void:
“You spent a million years plotting just to hand me a cheat? You old geezer, I'll gladly take your inheritance!”
Your game is mine now!
