One morning, overworked office drone Liu Wei wakes up in the Three Kingdoms era as Liu Bei’s distant cousin, and binds himself to the [System of Eminent Ministers Through the Ages]. As long as he helps Liu Bei achieve greatness, he’ll earn fame and leave his name in history.
But Liu Wei just wants to go home.
To get back, he decides to do the exact opposite and court death at every turn! Liu Bei is benevolent? He denounces him as a hypocrite in open court! Zhuge Liang launches a northern campaign? He berates him for recklessly exhausting the state’s strength! Guan Yu is guarding Jingzhou? He writes to Cao Cao, urging him to surrender! He picks fights with Zhang Fei, rails at Sun Quan, and writes a letter from the battlefield calling Cao Zhen a pig-headed commander. He even uses a loudspeaker to air eighteen generations of Cao Wei’s royal family scandals in front of hundreds of thousands of soldiers…
He diligently plays the role of Shu Han’s “number-one menace,” all in the hope of getting himself killed.
But things never turn out as expected:
He opposes land redistribution with a pile of crooked arguments, yet somehow revives Shu Han’s economy and earns the title “God of Wealth.” He curses up a storm on the battlefield, and somehow makes the enemy commander so furious that he coughs up blood and passes out, earning the title “God of Insults.” He forges intelligence in an attempt to defect, but Zhuge Liang interprets it as an unparalleled stratagem, directly leading to a great victory at Hanzhong. He even tells Liu Bei, who is entrusting his son to others at Baidi City, “Your Majesty, A Dou is an irredeemable fool!”
He waits and waits, but instead of a blade, Liu Bei entrusts him with an even heavier responsibility, placing even greater faith in him: “Minister Liu, the Han realm… needs you to restore it through your ‘law.’”
Liu Wei: “???”
I only wanted to die, so how did I become Shu Han’s pillar of strength and peerless statesman? As the road home grows ever longer and the realm on his shoulders grows ever heavier, Liu Wei throws back his head and cries to the heavens:
“I really just want to go home! Could you please stop doing the opposite of what’s expected and just kill me already?!”
