I love Ah Xu:
When you are living in troubled times, you should focus on the important affairs of the country. I've said this thousands of times, but only when I'm facing you do I feel a little selfish. How I want to leave behind information and home country, and just be your Lu Zining, guarding a small courtyard with you, making tea in the morning and looking at the moon at dusk. But I can't. I love you, but if the country is stable, people will be stable. I know you love me too, and you also love our country, so we collect intelligence together and guard this devastated land.
I'm leaving, Ah Xu, don't be sad. In this troubled world, there must be someone to guard and someone to sacrifice. I'm not a hero, I just can't let you go, and I can't let go of this land we love so much.
However, I can't wait any longer.
I hope that in our next life we will have a brighter day, no longer need to hide or worry, we can hold hands, walk on Chang'an Street in Peking, and see the spring flowers all over the city.
I hope you can witness the bright future for me in this life. That is the future we have all longed for.
Forget me, forget the pain of this troubled world, forget all the joys and sorrows between us. You are hard-spoken and soft-hearted, and you are easy to suffer. I hope you find someone who can understand you, love you, and tolerate all your tempers in the future. No need to take risks for anyone, no need to worry about anyone anymore. You deserve a better life and a stable happiness in a bright future.
Ah Xu, it hurts so much and I miss you so much.
My love for Ah Xu is shallow in this life, but it will continue in the next life.
