Siheyuan: I Made the First Uncle a Dad!

[A period-era story, especially suited to readers born in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Journey to the West + courtyard compound. Brain storage here.] Zhu Bajie’s soul transmigrates to a courtyard compound in 1965. He becomes the compound’s famous glutton and tumbles headfirst into a frozen cesspit! [Ding! Courtyard Compound Troublemaker System successfully bound!] [Beginner mission: Find a woman who isn’t related to you and have her willingly let you carry her.] [Failure penalty: The stench becomes permanent!] Me: ...What woman would let a man who just climbed out of a cesspit carry her? [Ding! Carry Chen Xueru, a down-and-out capitalist. Reward: Purification Technique!] [Main mission: Get Yi Zhonghai, the First Master, to willingly give up his main house and trade homes with you. Reward: Unlock the sauce section!] [Time limit: 90 days. Failure penalty: Your whole family gets kicked out of the courtyard compound, and you lose your sense of taste for ten years!] I look at the locked food section of the supermarket, then at Yi Zhonghai, the old fox next door who schemes about everything down to the bone. Hold on, System, are you running a scam shop or what? For this mission, do I have to bury the old couple alive and then make them dance on their own graves, saying they’re “willing”?! [Warning: Violence and financial coercion are prohibited!] Me (clenching my fist): Fine. If you want me to do the opposite, I’ll do the opposite! I’ll get Jia Zhangshi to have a baby with the First Master! Just watch me turn this whole courtyard compound upside down!