Doomsday Cat God

I woke up to find the apocalypse had arrived, only to be knocked unconscious by a mutant orange cat.

When I came to, I discovered the thing could talk and even claimed to be a god from Meow Planet.

It crossed its legs and said, “I can grant you three wishes. For example, I could make the zombies do square dancing.”

On a whim, I said, “Then make all the cockroaches in the world go vegan first.”

The next day, the news reported that a horde of cockroaches was ravenously devouring the landscaping.

The orange cat smacked me in the face with its paw. “Hurry up with your second wish. I still have a universe to conquer.”

I watched the zombies outside the window run from the cockroaches and fell into deep thought.