I, Mu Fengyuan, was a female general of the previous dynasty. My hapless childhood friend, the emperor who lost his country as soon as he took the throne, and I were officially certified by the underworld as “millennium squatters” because we were exceptionally talented at getting ourselves killed.
For hundreds of years, we relied on our skills to transform the Bridge of Helplessness beyond recognition.
In the end, even Meng Po, who brewed the soup, couldn’t take it anymore. She went dark and kicked the two of us straight into some supernatural game to hunt for treasure.
I thought I’d finally be free to roam the world and make a name for myself with the skills I’d honed in my previous life.
Who would’ve thought my emperor friend’s habit would… mutate!
Other people go into dungeons looking for divine weapons and treasures. He, on the other hand, only has eyes for the “junk” I pick out.
The hairpin I had my eye on? He snatches it and stuffs it in his pocket.
The gold ingot I’d been watching for ages? He grabs it right out from under my nose.
Even the jade thumb ring I find, he’ll pry right out from between my fingers!
Then I spotted an ancient zither. I’d just lunged for it when I saw him reaching for it too.
I clamped both hands over the strings, practically breaking down. “Your Majesty! Get a grip! You can have the hairpin, the ingot, and the thumb ring. Can’t you leave me the zither?!”
Then one day, he sneakily laid out the hairpin, gold ingot, jade thumb ring, and ancient zither on the ground. He turned to me with a burning gaze, holding a bowl of Meng Po’s soup, the friendly-threat version.
“My dear subject, what if I used this junk… ahem, these divine treasures to hire you as my Imperial Preceptor? You could help me build another dynasty in this game, just for fun!”
Meng Po, who’d been watching the show behind me, and I said in unison, “Get lost!!!”
