WANTED:
Qi Heng, male, formerly a servant of the Qingyun Sect. Spiritual root: useless.
CHARGES:
1. He broke the sect's cultivation techniques into formulas and sold them to mortals for three coins a copy. When the elders called it "revealing Heaven's secrets," he replied, "Heaven's secrets? This is just a physics problem."
2. He used spiritual ley lines as servers and built a shared spiritual-energy network. When the elders accused him of "undermining the sect," he said, "That's called distributed computing. What you do is called monopolizing the network."
3. He cracked the Ascension Passage and mass-messaged the entire cultivation world: "Don't ascend. There's no signal up there."
4. When the Heavenly Dao issued a warning popup, he replied, "You've got a memory leak. I've already exported the logs."
Heavenly Dao: ...Send me the patch.
When the heavenly tribulation struck, Qi Heng didn't dodge. He hooked up an oscilloscope to the lightning:
"The voltage is unstable. No wonder you keep hitting the wrong person."
"Energy is conserved. You can't fool me."
