When news arrived that my husband had fallen on the battlefield, the emperor told me to choose between remaining a widow and remarrying.
But I knew that whichever I chose, I would die.
In my first life, I chose to remain a widow, only to be falsely accused of having an affair with the stable hand and drowned in a pond.
In my second life, I chose to remarry, only for my husband, Xiao Jinye, who had faked his death, to have me thrown into a pleasure house and tortured to death.
As I lay dying, I clutched his sleeve and asked him why.
He replied with nothing but disgust:
“You occupying the position of his rightful wife is a sin in itself. Only when you're dead can Yan marry into the family openly.”
“What makes you think you can compare to her?”
Only then did I realize he had never intended to let me live.
He wanted me dead so my half-sister could take my place.
When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day the emperor asked me to choose.
Facing the ruler seated on the dragon throne, I slowly knelt and spoke clearly and firmly:
“This humble subject's wife is willing to remain faithful to her late husband, Xiao Jinye, and never remarry.”
Before the emperor could nod, I bowed again and declared:
“Furthermore, I humbly beseech Your Majesty to issue an imperial decree granting me a chastity archway, to honor the Xiao family's virtues and demonstrate Your Majesty's boundless grace.”
This time, I would use an imperial decree to make Xiao Jinye's death final.
In this new life, chastity and reputation meant no more to me than passing clouds.
All I wanted was for him to die.
I wanted Xiao Jinye to remain forever nothing more than a memorial tablet in a cenotaph, a dead man.
