Reborn as Tang Sanzang, I Made the Campus Belle Cough Up Blood When She Summoned Me

“The Buddha says, ‘Lay down your butcher’s knife and become a Buddha on the spot.’” “I say, ‘Pick up a skewer and ascend to immortality right here!’” After transmigrating into Tang Sanzang, I was fretting over how to get through the eighty-one trials when a broke campus beauty summoned me as a legendary spirit! Then came the result… [Quality: N (Mortal)], and the whole crowd burst out laughing! “Weak constitution, no combat ability, and even a ‘taunt aura’ that attracts monsters and demons. The most useless spirit in history has been born!” “That’s what she got after three hundred pulls? What a total unlucky streak!” The reborn empress gazed at me through tears, but I was looking at the fried chicken in her hand. “My lady, this humble monk would like to indulge in some meat.” … Other people fight with spirit skills. What do you mean, you’re reciting pi? And it’s a forbidden spell, no less? Other people level up by taking pills. You eat barbecue and jump three levels at once? Wait, you’re saying you can grasp the divine ability [Attaining the Dao in a Dream] just by taking a nap? You want to give everyone a tightening headband? What’s that supposed to be? “My lady, this humble monk is hungry again.” “Get lost! If you eat any more, I’ll sell you to the monsters for cash!” “Don’t! They can live forever by eating me. And if you eat me… hehe, you can too.”