I transmigrated into Sun Wukong and ended up trapped beneath Five-Finger Mountain.
Sister Guanyin tried to sell me a dream: “Escort Tang Sanzang, and you’ll become a Buddha.”
What a joke. This pilgrimage was nothing but a reality show co-produced by Heaven and the Spirit Mountain!
I flipped the table and quit the act, breaking out ahead of schedule.
I slipped back to Flower-Fruit Mountain, only to find my heart sink. The spiritual veins of my homeland had been dug up, the Water Curtain Cave had been seized, and my monkey kin had been scattered and bullied.
They were all “demon spies” sent by the other side and human lackeys!
Oh, so you want to play dirty?
This time, I’m done playing along.
I rallied the Ten-Thousand-Demon Alliance, made Liu Er my secretary and the Bull Demon King my head of security, and set up an intelligence network across the Three Realms.
Not one of those who screwed us over back then is getting away!
The Golden-Winged Great Peng who devours an entire city? I’ll deal with him!
The Linggan King who eats children? I’ll take him apart!
The White Deer Spirit who makes pills from children’s hearts and livers? I’ll beat him to a pulp!
My crackdown list has no survivors.
When the gods and Buddhas across the heavens suddenly realize that their opponent is no longer a monkey who only knows how to swing a staff, but a modern wage slave who excels at public opinion warfare and exploiting information gaps...
It’ll be time to change directors for this grand production.
And I, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, will lay down new rules for the Three Realms!
