I’m Lin Tian, an ordinary tech company owner. I swear, I’m really not an arms dealer!
My first product was “Wangcai,” an adorable robot puppy that only wags its tail and does awkward dances. It costs 1,999 yuan, and cuteness is its whole selling point.
Then some hardcore foreign dudes welded a six-barreled Vulcan cannon onto it, turning it into a mobile battlefield turret. It went viral overnight!
[Ding! Product has triggered global military panic. Shock points +1,000,000,000!]
I was dumbfounded.
I launched the “Divine Strength” civilian exoskeleton to help delivery workers carry packages with less effort. In the blink of an eye, Middle Eastern tycoons were wearing it to rip apart armored vehicles, making global headlines.
I launched the “Somersault Cloud” hoverboard to ease traffic congestion on the city’s last mile. Instead, special forces around the world modified it into a “three-dimensional infiltration unit,” overturning modern warfare!
I cried as I explained to the whole world, “My products are all for civilian use! Civilian use!!” People around the world and generals from every country replied in unison, “Right, right, we get it. Civilian use (built to military standards)!”
When a meteor hurtles toward Earth and all of humanity is in despair, I look at the thousands of my company’s rescue mechs in space, all modified into “Gundams”...
I just want to ask one thing: “Please! Can someone tell me who was the first to put a railgun on my robot dog?!”
