Oh Haha! I Became the Defense Captain!

[Absolute Ultra spirit + Absolutely sane protagonist + No blackening + Ultra jokes + No high blood pressure plot + Defense team portraits] Have I traveled through time? No, why is this still on trial? Is this right? What's on the screen? Why does there seem to be something wrong with this world? What? What... Special department do you want me to join? Do you want me to be the leader? Dealing with criminals with super powers? Super speed, super strength, the ability to fly and escape, and also have laser eyes... I'll test it! You want me to beat the people of my motherland? Sorry, I'm just an ordinary person. I have no obligation to face an enemy that I can't win at all. No dog can do this job... Wait! Give me a set of top-notch technology armor, and let me control the world's top weapons and firepower? Dry! If the dog doesn't fuck me, I will! Oh, that's not right! Why are there records of giant creatures with a height of 50 to 60 meters and a weight of 50,000 to 60,000 tons in the database? ! You want me to fight monsters? ! Is it too late for me to quit? ! Eh? ! Give Ultraman his transformer! Hahahahahahahaha, you are so accurate at judging people! I have the most Ultra spirit. I fight monsters and so on. I am the unknown proud disciple of the director of the Kingdom of Light Meat Factory! You see, when it comes to fighting monsters, if I dare to use the Ultra Disc Blade as a chainsaw, then I dare to use the fifth layer of light of the universe as a glove! Alien invaders? Giant monster? Mutate and transform people? Brothers! A friend comes from afar! Even though he is far away, he will be killed! Let these cosmic bumpkins feel the passion of the earth! It's here! Don't leave!