I transmigrated into a petty thief who was beaten to death with a single strike of Lü Lingqi's halberd. The moment I open my eyes, I'm about to be beheaded.
The System activates: “A beauty of historic proportions detected. Simulation function unlocked!”
I die in nine out of ten simulations. In the last one, I'm supposed to confess my love with all my heart?
I steel myself and shout, “Miss! I'm a womanizer who specializes in picking thorny roses like you!”
Lü Lingqi is furious and embarrassed, so I seize the chance to propose a test of literary and martial skill.
With a lesson in leverage, I pin her down with one finger. Then I copy out nine years' worth of poetry until her cheeks flush and her heart races.
At last, I lean close to her ear. “Your father is about to be tricked by Wang Yun into killing Dong Zhuo...”
On the spot, she submits and begs for mercy. “Sir, teach me how to turn this around!”
The next day, putting on a Shanxi accent, I try to fool Diao Chan. “My dear, I'm the husband you were betrothed to before birth!”
Diao Chan's eyes brim with tears. “My husband crossed mountains and rivers to find me. How could I ever let you down?”
Me: “...Actually, I was lying.”
She clutches my sleeve. “You must be saying that because you fear dragging me into trouble!”
Good grief, why do all the beauties of the Three Kingdoms love talking themselves into things?
