After inspecting the mortal realm, the Jade Emperor had a sudden inspiration and introduced the “Five-Color Immortal Card Assessment.”
He even appointed his mortal son-in-law, Niulang, as chief examiner.
The assessment would rank the gods across the board using the Azure Wood Card for growth potential, the Scarlet Fire Card for performance, the Yellow Earth Card for teamwork, the Platinum Card for virtue, and the Dark Water Card for innovation.
- To earn credits for his Azure Wood Card, the God of Thunder signed up for Chang'e's dance class at the Moon Palace and nearly threw out his back.
- The Old Man Under the Moon was told to partner with the God of Wealth on a “Fortune and Romance Package.” Their red and gold threads became hopelessly tangled.
- Sun Wukong submitted his “Somersault Cloud Express” proposal for innovation points on the Dark Water Card, but Li Chang Geng rejected it on the grounds that it “might crash into the Southern Heavenly Gate.”
- To compete for the top spot in rainfall on the Scarlet Fire Card, the Dragon Kings of the Four Seas started an “artificial rainfall contest” in the Eastern Sea.
Niulang clutched the assessment handbook and trembled all over. Sun Wukong blocked the door and demanded, “How many points should my Fiery Golden Eyes get?”
Li Chang Geng had no choice but to stay up all night teaching Niulang “One Hundred Ways to Handle Immortal Assessments.”
- In pursuit of innovation points, the Supreme Lord Lao developed “Calm the Mind and Quench the Fire Pills,” only to knock a whole group of celestial officials flat.
- Li Jing and his son lost teamwork points, and Nezha angrily tore down the railing around the Pagoda of the Heavenly King.
- The King of Hell came waving a “Underworld Reincarnation Efficiency Chart” and argued with Niulang:
“Are you going to make Meng Po's soup come in innovative new flavors, too?”
At last, with guidance from Emperor Wenchang, Li Chang Geng switched to a “specialty-based assessment system”: the God of Thunder could focus on thunder, while Wukong took the lead on innovation. This kept Heaven running smoothly while saving the Jade Emperor's face.
But as Li Chang Geng stared at the “Dark Water Card Innovation Award” he had won, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Very interesting and good at making memes