Jiang Miao, formerly an internet-industry workaholic, pushed himself nonstop around the clock for three years and worked himself into the ICU. When he opened his eyes again, he had become the cultivation world's most miserable tool of the year
His dantian was smashed into a QR code, his cultivation reset to zero, and he lived in a drafty shack, surviving on a few grains of rice. Even the food delivery guy dared to sneer at him: "You're trash, got it?"
He planned to give up and wait to die, but a System descended from the heavens and forcibly bound itself to him:
"The crazier your disciples get, the more cheats you unlock. Shock points equal healing packs. Crush your way through everything and have the time of your life!"
Jiang Miao sat bolt upright on his deathbed: "Help me up. I can still work myself to the bone!"
So he went to the garbage pits where the major sects dumped their trash and brought back a few oddballs "absolutely nobody wants"
No. 1: The sealed Crown Prince of the Human Emperor, with zero spiritual power and a MAX-level sharp tongue. He could talk the dead back to life just to annoy them.
No. 2: The Fox Clan's Imperial Princess, whose bewitching bones were backfiring. A peerless beauty, she could make every male cultivator on the scene die of embarrassment with one wink.
No. 3: A descendant of the Barbarian God, so clueless he seemed to disconnect from reality. Every day he asked himself three questions: Am I hungry? Can I eat? Can I eat some more?
Other masters' lessons: Sit cross-legged, meditate, and memorize cultivation techniques, all in an otherworldly haze.
Jiang Miao's lessons: Warm up with the ninth set of broadcast exercises, use dialectical materialism to break through inner demons, seize territory with SWOT business models, and assess disciples' shock points with KPIs.
Years later, an Immortal Venerable enemy brought a hundred thousand prodigies to blockade the mountain gate, mocking them as a camp for useless trash.
Jiang Miao glanced at the shock meter overflowing in his System and lazily drew his sword:
"Kids, time to stretch your muscles. Remember, leave them breathing. Don't kill them."
That day, the entire cultivation world had a collective meltdown: So it turned out I was the useless one all along!
No CP, nurturing and growth
