Good news: I, Su Ming, a Heavenly Court wage slave, have spent three thousand years embezzling funds and finally saved up thirty thousand top-grade spirit stones. I'm ready to retire!
Bad news: The monkey showed up and turned my shoddy construction project into a public work of art with one swing of his staff!
Even worse news: My golden finger, the Heavenly Dao Embezzlement System, spends money even more recklessly than I do!
Facing the monkey's Fiery Golden Eyes, I thought I was done for.
The System told me to splash out ten thousand points, stage the scene, and disguise ordinary iron as immortal steel.
Then the monkey smashed right through it with one blow and pointed at the rust, asking me what the heck “genuine rusticity” was supposed to mean!
The immortal officials: “Caught red-handed! They're going to seize your property and wipe out your whole family!”
Facing a full tribunal, I thought I'd be executed on the spot.
The System told me to spend another five thousand points, doctor some pictures on the spot, and forge a “memorandum of cooperation” with the Fire Virtue Star Lord.
The Fire Virtue Star Lord was forced to go along with it, praising me: “Bold and responsible! That's freaking awesome!”
The Thunder Department's Heavenly Lord: “??? This isn't how the script is supposed to go!”
I thought I could finally catch my breath.
Then Sun Wukong showed up at my front door with his staff, saying in a low voice, “Your theory about ‘profound yin, restrained immortal steel’ is pretty interesting. Tell Old Sun more about it.”
Me, on the verge of tears: “System! Help! Why does this monkey even give after-school tutoring?!”
I've seen paid ones on Douyin before, but here they charge advertising fees.