No cp + countless friends + slight Cthulhu
"Dear property! You are all my feathers! Please don't quarrel over me!"
"Who is doing it for you!!!"
"Duplicity and naughty"
"Ouch--that's disgusting"
"I'm going to cry, babies."
The protagonist might be a bit of a heartthrob, a bit like a psychotic like-attract kind?
