A Record of Becoming an Immortal in the Mortal World

Give some suggestions 1. Reduce the content of previous generations, especially your sentence structure that looks like AI. 2. It is recommended to go directly to the topic, cultivating immortals. You are not an ordinary slow-starter. Qi training was only mentioned in Chapter 8, and sect was not even mentioned until Chapter 19. I could have thought the previous content was a martial arts novel. 3 Is an extension of 2. If you don't write much about cultivating immortals, you should change it to martial arts novels. This is not how the novels about cultivating immortals are written. The content you write is more suitable for martial arts novels. 4. In terms of plot, personally, I have read five thousand hours of books. I can read them if I can, but I probably won't follow them. I would also like to give you a suggestion. For example, if the young lady's brother wants to sell her, write it like this. The protagonist will ask about it, and then find out that this is not the case at all. It turns out that the protagonist heard about another family's affairs. This also expresses the protagonist's feelings, which is also unexpected. The broken family, her in trouble, this plot is really annoying after watching it too much. Anyway, come on, this is what I just wrote.

I haven't seen this kind of flavor in a long time, I miss it so much 🤔

It's a very good book. You can read it. The author is probably very capable. He may just lack an opportunity.