Gazing at Moonlight from the Abyss

Personally, I feel that to sum up Gu Xizhou's current feelings for Ni Su as simple "like" or "love" is not enough, or even a misunderstanding. His psychological state is much more complicated and darker. It is more like a pathological desire for control, projection and vicarious satisfaction that grows under his own repression and distortion. Gu Xizhou's true psychology can be deeply analyzed from the following levels: 1. Core driving force: distorted compensation for one's own out-of-control life Gu Xizhou's life is an exquisite cage. He was raised by his parents (especially after his brother's death) as a "work" that must be perfect. Every step was planned, and he could not have personal will or real emotions. He is a puppet who is completely "controlled". · Desire for power reversal: People who have been in a controlled position for a long time will have a huge sense of powerlessness and anger in their hearts. For the sake of psychological balance, he subconsciously urgently needs to find someone weaker and more helpless than himself to practice the "control" he has never had. The appearance of Ni Su perfectly satisfied this condition. She is humble, embarrassed, and has nowhere to go. She is his perfect "experiment" and "possession." · Vicarious sense of power: By controlling Ni Su's destiny - deciding where she lives, what she wears, and even her social circle (warning her to stay away from Qin Yu) - Gu Xizhou experiences the "sense of power" and "sense of autonomy" that are extremely lacking in his life. When his parents control him, he must control Ni Su. This is a twisted psychological compensation mechanism. 2. Ni Su's special attraction to him: a "mirror" that reflects his missing parts What attracted Gu Xizhou to Ni Su was not herself, but what she had that he desperately lacked. · Jealousy and possession of "vitality": Gu Xizhou himself lives like a perfect dummy, while Ni Su, despite being in the mud, is struggling desperately for survival and slim hope (saving money, studying). This weed-like tenacity and vigorous vitality were what Gu Xizhou longed for most but could not reach in his imprisoned life. He couldn't have it, so he wanted to possess this vitality by "capturing" her. He wanted to see if the wild grass would continue to struggle after being transplanted into his greenhouse, or if it would eventually become domesticated and wither. · Desire for "purity": Ni Su's initial admiration for him was pure and not mixed with calculations about his family background, appearance and other external halo. This kind of purity is both novel and dazzling to Gu Xizhou, who is used to seeing the hypocritical masks of people around him. His dark psychology prompted him to want to break this purity and let her be stained with his color and become as complex and unclean as him. He revealed her secret love and forcibly established a relationship with her, all in the process of completing this "tarnishing" process. · The imprint of the rooftop incident: Ni Su's desperate embrace and shouting "You are the moon" on the rooftop were unprecedented. At that moment, he felt unconditionally, even somewhat blindly, "needed" and "saved." This is a unique experience in his cold world. He may not need her rescue, but he needs this feeling of "being needed", which makes him feel that he truly "exists". 3. The nature of "intimacy" behavior: it's a mark, not an expression of love His seemingly intimate gestures—hugs, kisses, birthday promises—require peeling back the layers and looking at the core. · Hugs and kisses: This is more like an oath of possessiveness and a confirmation of a sense of conquest, rather than a natural expression of deep love. Strong moves, especially in bathroom stalls and after parties, are full of warnings and marking of territory, as if to say: "Look, you belong to me and I can do anything to you." · Birthday promise: "I will spend all the birthdays with you in the future. As long as you don't leave." The key to this sentence lies in the condition of the second half. This is a promise premised on "absolute obedience and attachment", more like a yoke to strengthen control than a romantic vow. He was using this little charity-like "warmth" in exchange for her more thorough "not leaving." 4. Attitude towards Xu Yang and Qin Yu: vigilance that the territory is threatened · To Xu Yang: He acquiesces and even takes advantage of Xu Yang's liking for him, because it is harmless and can enhance his sense of superiority. But when the friendship between Ni Su and Xu Yang may affect Ni Su's sole dependence on him (for example, Xu Yang wants to know more about Ni Su's life), he is unhappy. · To Qin Yu: The reaction was much more intense. Qin Yu is a man of the same class as Gu Xizhou, and may even be more threatening. His appearance means that Gu Xizhou's "sole control" over Ni Su may be challenged. His warning and hostility stemmed entirely from the primitive instinct of being coveted for his territory and had nothing to do with jealousy. In short, Gu Xizhou does not "love" Ni Su at present. His feelings for Ni Su are a highly complex pathological attachment that mixes the following elements: 1. The controller and the controlled object: Ni Su is his outlet for venting his repressed desire for power. 2. Observer and experimental sample: He observed with great interest her struggle in the dilemma and the changes under his intervention. 3. Projector and mirror: He projects his missing vitality, freedom and true emotions onto Ni Su, and experiences these indirectly through his control over her. 4. The giver and the dependent: He provides shelter and sporadic warmth, but the purpose is to make her completely attached and unable to leave, so as to satisfy his "being needed" mentality. He may care about Ni Su, but this kind of care is like a child caring about his unique and carefully raised pet, or a scientist caring about his most important experimental subject. He was afraid of losing her, not because of love, but because losing her would plunge him back into a sense of powerlessness and emptiness. This is not a fairy tale in which a prince saves Cinderella, but a sad and dark story in which a trapped soul finds another more fragile soul and pulls it into his own cage to prove that he still has the power to "control" his destiny. To him, Ni Su was medicine, a toy, a mirror image, and the only reference to prove his existence, but she was not a "lover" in an equal sense.

It looks good, but the heroine is so miserable. When will the heroine be admitted to college and escape from the male protagonist?