When a Pig Got a Devouring System

“I woke up to find I was the fattest pig in the pen, wondering whether I'd be steamed or braised tonight, when a sudden ‘Ding!’ rang in my head

[Congratulations, Host, you've bound the All-Devouring System! Eat slop to gain ‘Enhanced Digestion,’ swallow mud to gain ‘Tough Hide,’ eat the feed belonging to the old sow next door... Uh, she looks like she's about to charge me!]

As a pig with dreams of ruling the Three Realms, my comeback story is a bit hard to describe:

Today I ate a cockroach and unlocked the ‘Rapid Diarrhea’ skill. (Help, who can put up with this side effect!)

Tomorrow I gnawed on an iron fence and got the ‘Steel Teeth’ buff. (Then the farmhand chased me around, saying I was tearing the place apart.)

At long last, I swallowed a fallen leaf and actually learned ‘photosynthesis’? So I'm supposed to bask in the sun with a pig's head to get my calcium from now on?

Other reborn people become dragons or immortals. Me? I get into brawls with the other pigs over feed every day, while keeping an eye out for the butcher sharpening his knife. But hey, I've got a cheat! Once I've devoured everything under the heavens, busting out of the pigpen won't be a problem. I might even swallow the moon and play with it like a glowing pearl!

Wait, there's a wild boar up ahead. How about I... try eating it first?”