[Honghuang + Cthulhu + Wild Imagination + Lighthearted Comedy + Transmigration + Expert at Laying Low + Face-Slapping] After working himself to death from staying up all night, modern office worker Lin Fan transmigrated into Chaos as an “innate nobody spirit” that couldn’t even withstand baleful energy: no pedigree, no talent, the Honghuang equivalent of a product with nothing going for it. But as soon as he opened his eyes, he found three baby boys, who turned out to be the Three Pure Ones before they had gained intelligence! Thanks to the faint aura of Chaos protection carried by his modern soul, the Three Pure Ones treated him like a mobile safe zone and clung to him without a moment’s separation.
Lin Fan survived by scavenging fragments of Chaos and munching on the compressed biscuits he’d brought along after transmigrating. A passing Chaos God saw him and spread the rumor that he was “feeding innate Saints with sacred treasures of Chaos.” When he tried to hide from a young Taotie, the Three Pure Ones stepped in front of him to protect him. Onlookers fell to their knees, crying, “The Saints under this senior’s command have slain a vicious beast!” When Luohou tried to capture the Three Pure Ones and refine them into treasures, Laozi waved the wooden stick Lin Fan used to scrape biscuit crumbs, and the Chaos God fled on the spot in terror.
After Honghuang was created, Lin Fan hid in Kunlun Mountain and took up farming. When rogue cultivators tried to steal his spirit grain, Tongtian promptly smashed their cave dwelling. When the Queen Mother of the West invited him to form an alliance, she saw the Three Pure Ones acting as his guards and immediately changed her form of address to “Your Excellency.” Hongjun saved him a front-row seat for his lecture. When he bestowed Primordial Violet Qi, the Three Pure Ones knelt to receive it but didn’t dare accept. The assembled Saints were astounded, taking Lin Fan for a “reclusive senior.”
During the Investiture of the Gods War, he handed Jiang Ziya a bandage, which Jiang mistook for a sacred medicine. During Journey to the West, Lin Fan grew corn, and when Zhu Bajie snuck some, holy power sent him flying. From the Wu-Yao negotiation table to requests for favors at Spirit Mountain, everyone who doubted Lin Fan was humiliated by “coincidence,” while the Three Pure Ones’ dependence on him was no accident.
Now the assembled Saints want to honor him as their leader, but Lin Fan only wants to grow corn in the mortal world with the Three Pure Ones. After all, even if the Tathagata or the Jade Emperor comes calling, they can wait until he’s finished watering the fields.
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