Become******

Let me tell you, this book is the first work of a newcomer, and there may be many flaws in the content. Corrections are welcome. The author is very persuasive and works hard, and tries to update it every day. Unless there are special circumstances, it will be updated once a day, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Two chapters may be updated in these three days, usually around early in the morning. If you don't see a chapter, it means the review is blocked. Don't read this book from an too rigorous perspective. This book is mainly relaxed and enjoyable, suitable for reading a few chapters in your leisure time and laughing. The author will work hard to update! Your encouragement is my biggest motivation! Thank you all!

🌟 1. The rhythm of the plot is a bit jumpy. It is recommended to make up for the cutscenes and links. Your beginning to the fairy boat and the encounter with Tingyun are very smooth, but later the plot connection is slightly faster when the protagonist takes action on his own, for example: From shopping → meeting Kafka → phantom battle These events are laid out to a certain extent in the original work, but here you almost "run through it in just a few chapters." It is understandable for readers who have played the game, but for those who have not been exposed to the original work, it will become difficult to follow the plot. 👉 Suggestion: Add some cutscenes, mood descriptions or environmental state prompts when switching scenes to let readers know why the characters are there and how the events happened. 🌟 2. The skill extraction and skill introduction are slightly longer. When skill introductions are too detailed and too frequent, it can easily slow down the pace of the main plot and dilute readers' attention to the plot. 👉 Suggestions: You can only keep skills that are "related to the plot" or "related to character growth" Introduce in a more concise way Or disperse the skills into the battle and bring them out naturally (the effect will be smoother) 🌟 3. It is recommended to avoid skipping important plot passages in the original work For example, in your Qingque section: In the original work, Qingque was responsible for receiving the pioneers, but in your story she was directly captured by Fu Xuan, resulting in: Taipus Yukong General Jingyuan If an entire paragraph of important paragraphs is skipped, it will make the entire Immortal Boat Chapter read a bit incoherent. 👉 Suggestion: Even if you want to adapt, you can keep the core process of "key events", or at least give a reasonable explanation of "why the plot is different", and the story will be more natural. 🌟 4. It is recommended to leave a little more explanation about the world view and story background. Because the subject of Border Prison is rarely written about, new readers are not familiar with it. If the pace is fast and there is little explanation, it will be more difficult for them to integrate into your story. 👉 Suggestion: Add at important turning points Background information The protagonist's understanding Supplementary dialogue between characters It will make the world view clearer and easier for readers to follow. 🌟 5. The overall direction is very novel and the subject matter is very attractive. Although there are some minor problems above, your subject matter is really special. The writing method of "Border Prison × Immortal Boat" is rare and very eye-catching. It can also be seen that you have your own ideas about the plot. As long as you slightly adjust the rhythm and add some plot points, the readability of your work will be greatly improved. The above are small suggestions, and the above are all my opinions (five stars for support)

Uh... I work very hard and insist on at least one update every day. 😋As long as you keep updating, there is still hope. Anyway, come on. I'm still very optimistic about it. As long as every author works harder, I can spend more time reading and fishing. Anyway, keep working hard.

The author's writing style is so good () It's pure A+, I want to ask you to be a master () It's so amazing, it's so classy ()

The author worked very hard.

Well, not bad, worth watching