My name is Song Que, and I transmigrated here.
My dream is simple: find a cave and slack off until I die.
But when a passing demonic cultivator casually slapped me to death, my golden finger... no, my "golden middle finger" finally came through.
[Ding! Congratulations, Host, on achieving the "Slapped to Death by a Passing Nobody" achievement! Death rating: 3/10. Pathetic! You are now bound to the Three Realms' Gold Medal Death-Seeking Coach System. Survive a hundred creatively suicidal stunts!]
From then on, I was forced down a path of death-defying stunts.
I just wanted to get stabbed to death with a sword, but the righteous sect's prodigy chased after me, calling me "Senior," and claiming he'd grasped the supreme sword path from my resolve to die?
I just wanted to get blown up by a pill furnace, but the Pill Hall elder knelt down and begged me to take him as a disciple, saying I'd ushered in a new era of alchemy?
Saintesses, demonesses, elders, fiends... Why does everyone think I'm enlightening them whenever I try to die? I beg you, making things up in your heads is an illness. Get it treated!
After dying a hundred times at long last, I thought I could retire and slack off.
[Ding! Congratulations on your transfer! The "Top Trainer of Masterful Survivors Across the Myriad Worlds" System is now online! Survive for three hundred years as the public enemy of the world!]
Me: "..."
I just want to slack off. Why is the whole world forcing me to become an unparalleled master?! And this System, could you try acting like a person for once?!
[What nonsense are you talking about, Host? Your coach was never a person to begin with. Nyah-ha-ha~??]
