Wi-Fi Queen of the Cultivation World: Surviving for Ten Thousand Years

[Hilarious cultivation] I’m Hua Ying, the cultivation world’s famous good-for-nothing, a professional runner-up for a hundred years. My life goal: survive ten thousand years, collect my welfare spirit stones, and enjoy the good life. But the Heavenly Dao slips up, and a massive bolt of lightning turns me into a walking human Wi-Fi hotspot. My spiritual energy stays permanently at full bars, my cultivation shoots up while I lie flat, and my signal covers the entire immortal world! The sect next door stays up all night piggybacking on my Wi-Fi and cultivates eight Immortal Venerables. When the Demon Lord’s army descends, I connect to their home Wi-Fi and hack it with one click. The immortal sects weep and beg: “Ancestor! Please ascend already! Stop broadcasting your network!” The Demon Lord breaks down and throws money at me: “We’re pulling out! Villainy just isn’t viable anymore!” As the Three Realms beg me to blow myself up on the spot, I slowly pull out a contract. “Sorry, my survival agreement has been renewed for another ten thousand years.” Quiet, please. I just want to lie flat in peace, but the whole world is using my hotspot! (Hilarious absurdity + invincible protagonist + anti-rat-race; the heroine only wants to survive, but is forced to carry the entire cultivation world to victory!)