I, a Liangshan rebel, became a specially appointed civil servant of the state.
A thousand years ago, my name was Shi Qian, and I was a wanted criminal by the imperial court.
A thousand years later, my name is Shi Qian, and I am a special consultant of the National Security Bureau, specializing in "theft by order."
When I first came here, they wanted to arrest me.
The national security elite laid a dragnet. I tiptoed and flew up the three-meter-high wall. (Smiling evilly): "I won't play with you anymore."
Director Song Jiang personally took action, and I blocked him behind me with my backhand, (whispering): "Director Song, your people are not very good."
Later, they wanted to recruit me.
Song Jiang: "Mr. Shi, we formally invite you to steal for the country and revive China!"
Me: "What? You want me, a thief, to bring glory to my country? It's ridiculous!"
Song Jiang: "Five insurances and one housing fund, including food and accommodation, a 300-square-meter mansion in the center of Beijing, and no upper limit on expenses."
Me (stood up suddenly): "Leader! When will I join the company?! Whose home is the first target to steal from?!"
(Muttering in a low voice: This condition is much bigger than the pie that Brother Song Jiang drew back then...)
