Report! My Wife Is Teaching Me How to Pursue Her

I grew up competing with my archenemy, Shen Xubai, and accidentally received a video from five years in the future. In the video, that sharp-tongued man was wearing an apron and calling me “Wife”! I blew my top on the spot. “No way! I'd rather donate my eyes!” Future me: “Calm down. He's a little too full of himself, but he's actually not bad.” Future him: “Accept your fate, Wife. Your husband is irresistibly charming!” That's it? I immediately made an alternate account and found him in the present. “Want to know how your pursuit of her is going?” Him: “Are we together five years from now?” Me: “She got married. The groom wasn't you.” “Am I useless? I can't win her over in five years!” “That's what you get for acting so aloof! Dad's going to teach you how to win her.” I personally wrote him a guide on how to pursue me: “Buy her coffee without sugar and ‘accidentally’ leave it on her desk.” “If anyone gives her a hard time, tear them to shreds!” He learned fast. “Strategist, can I just call her Wife?” I said, “No :)” In real life, I cornered him. “Who taught you those tricks?” His ears turned red. “I taught myself.” That very night, I got a panicked message from him: “She found out! I'm done for! Strategist, save me!” Me: “Can't help you. You're doomed. Spend the rest of your life making up for those five years of acting aloof :)”