My name is Zhao Minyu. I have borderline personality disorder and a two-sided psychological condition, along with obsessive-compulsive disorder and a strong need to correct things. After four failed relationships, I've come to believe that no one could ever truly love me. My parents don't love me, my best friend betrayed me, and many of the other people I've met have wished me ill. There is no sincere love in this age. Cheap roses overflow in the trash, while genuine feelings are pitiful and pathetic, trampled underfoot.
My first ex was someone I met online, Guo Xiaoyang. He liked working out and was very cold toward me. He was from Nanjing, Jiangsu. We lost contact for a week, then his nephew used his phone to message me that we were breaking up. We really did break up afterward, at my insistence.
My second ex was from Jiangxi. He went by Zhang Ye, but his real name on his ID was embarrassingly plain: Zhang Xiaoqiang. He had a wolf cut, a small tattoo on his left hand, and wasn't bad-looking. Later, he became a male escort and even cheated me out of money. We deleted each other and broke up.
My third boyfriend was a soldier named Jiao Long, from Lianyungang, Jiangsu. We dated online for eight months before meeting in person. He was probably a narcissist, controlling and putting me down. Then he cheated, and we ended things.
My fourth boyfriend was from Lanzhou, Gansu, and a few months younger than me. He wasn't tall, the shortest of all the guys I'd dated, at 170 centimeters. I remember his slim waist, and how light he was: I could lift him a few centimeters off the ground. Later, I went somewhere else, and he stopped acknowledging that we'd ever been together. In the adult world, nothing is easy. We silently accepted that we had parted ways.
One night, as I broke down, I left a message online. That's when I met Lin Shen. Two equally sensitive people had found each other, and I began to hope once more...
