Reborn as Wu Dalang: With a Golden Tongue, I Rule the Song Dynasty

Name: Reborn as Wu Dalang: With a Golden Tongue, I Rule the Song Dynasty
Author: Wang Gen

重生武大郎：嘴开光后，大宋横着

by Wang Gen (王艮)

Status: Completed
Length: 554k Words
Genre: Eastern Fantasy
Subgenre: Fantasy High-Concept
Updated: 11mo ago
Source: Fanqie

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Synopsis

[Reborn for revenge + absurd feel-good comedy + dark humor + underdog comeback and face-slapping] Wu Dalang was poisoned to death and reborn. He opens his eyes back at his flatbread stall, only to find half a packet of arsenic beside him! Desperate, he takes a bite of the flatbread, hoping to kill himself, but awakens the “jinxing mouth”: every curse turns into an opposite-effect blessing! “May Pan Jinlian’s hair break off when she combs it!” She combs it once and goes half bald! “May Ximen Qing have the best of luck with women!” He gets chased down three streets by a 200-jin madwoman! “May Granny Wang’s roof beams be sturdy!” Her roof collapses on the spot, leaving the house unsafe! Wu Dalang is overjoyed. “This isn’t arsenic, it’s my golden finger!” From then on, he becomes “Yanggu County’s Number One Jinx,” saving people with a kindly face while secretly causing mayhem: • Pan Jinlian: Before she falls down the stairs to her death, she hears him “worrying” about her: “Careful where you step, dear!” • Ximen Qing: As he falls off his horse drunk, Wu Dalang’s “blessing” rings in his ears: “Have a pleasant journey, sir~” • Granny Wang: Before a roof tile smashes her in the head, he yells: “Godmother! The roof is perfectly safe!” After all three are wiped out, he pulls out a “certificate of gratitude” and sobs, “They insisted on repaying me. What could I do?” In the end, the short and ugly Wu Dalang makes a comeback as “Master Wu,” living in a mansion and gathering underlings. Even Wu Song is dumbfounded. “Brother, how did you get richer than Ximen Qing?” [Absurd comedy highlights] • Ximen Qing gets a pair of underpants plastered to his face, and the whole town cracks up: “What luck with women, Master Ximen!” • Pan Jinlian tries to sneak off for an affair while dumping water, only to get drenched in dishwater herself! • Wu Dalang bites poisoned flatbread while chanting: “Don’t die too soon, any of you. I haven’t got the inheritance papers signed yet!” “Reborn once, I’ll make sure they die horribly, and get the whole county to praise me for my virtue!”

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261Chapters

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