The Diploma Was Promised, but Why Was It Issued with a Flying Sword?

I, Li Mo, an ordinary college entrance examination failed student, founded a university for my dream. I promise students that graduation packages will be distributed and diplomas will be recognized by the country. But can anyone tell me why the first lesson of the semester is "How to scientifically introduce Qi into the body"? Why is metalworking internship a "magic weapon forged with bare hands"? Students chase me every day and ask: "Principal, is our school's WiFi password 'fairly fair'?" Help, I just want to issue a fake diploma, I don't want to start the era of cultivating immortals!