You Were Supposed to Educate the People, but You Taught Everyone Martial Arts?

I, Zhou Ming, have a flawless physical body, am impervious to harm, and can throw a punch weighing 120,000 jin. But I have two bodies, and I still can’t control them properly!

The me on the left (my Dharma body) wants tea, but the me on the right (my real body) reaches for a Coke.

My little sister: “Bro, is it fun to hit yourself with your left hand?”

Me: “…”

[Scene One: Dinner]

I (my real body) pick up a piece of braised pork.

I (my Dharma body) knock it away with my chopsticks. “That’s impure food. It’ll interfere with your cultivation!”

The whole family: “…”

[Scene Two: Training]

I (my real body): “Today, I’m practicing the Blood and Qi Cultivation Method!”

I (my Dharma body): “No, you want to practice the Tathagata Palm!”

The result: My meridians nearly got twisted into knots!

[Scene Three: Meeting Someone]

My uncle: “Zhou Ming, the higher-ups would like to hear your thoughts on the Ark Project.”

I (my real body): “The core of the plan is…”

I (my Dharma body): “A fist is power! If someone disagrees, just beat them up!”

My uncle, eyes wide with shock: “Ming, those ideas of yours are dangerous!”

Seriously, is it so hard to think about two things at once? How did double the fun turn into double the trouble?