The sky turned purple, my roommate mutated, and the auntie next door is waving a toilet brush around, threatening to give me the ultimate purification! The apocalypse is here. Everyone else awakened superpowers, but I discovered that my nearly expired instant noodles are the real miracle weapon! Braised beef noodles for a physical exorcism, pickled cabbage noodles for holy purification? And what’s with this app insisting on giving me expired bottled water and a crowbar skill book? Don’t ask. I’m just surviving by slacking off, and making Cthulhu a bowl of pickled-fish soup with instant noodles on the side! This apocalypse is all about absurdity!
