When I became the cultivation world's greatest villain, the System was screaming: “Quick, torture the Son of Destiny to death!”
But all I wanted was to lie flat. “Does being the Demon Lord come with health insurance and a retirement plan?”
Just as the male lead, Shen Che, came at me with his sword, I blurted out, “Hey, handsome, does your sect provide meals and lodging?”
The System crashed on the spot.
I had no choice but to freeload at the Demon Palace, name a demonic beast Tiezhu, and turn the palace into a farmstay.
Until the male lead came to the door with his sword, seeking revenge. “Demon, today you die!”
I was slurping luosifen. “Let me finish this bite, then you can wash the bowl.”
Shen Che stared at the “Shen Family Farmstay” sign at the entrance to the Demon Palace and fell silent.
Later, his eyes red, he pinned me against the wall. “A dual cultivation technique. Want to learn it?”
I was so startled that I knocked over my luosifen. “Wait... can dual cultivation get me into grad school?”
