The Reborn System Made Me a God in India

Even a corporate drone deserves a life! I was promised I'd transmigrate and become the Dragon King, so how did I end up dropped straight into India on hell difficulty as an untouchable, starting with negative assets? Even the dogs in the village shake their heads when they see me.

Just as I hit rock bottom, a BGM eerily like the national evening news starts playing in my head: [Ding! The "Red Storm" System has been bound! Beginner mission: Use your professional skills to earn yourself a meal.]

My professional skills? Circus clown and pickup artist? That's not what I signed up for, man!

With no other choice, to avoid being "humanely shut down" by the System, I return to my old line of work by the Ganges.

Inner monologue: "Another day when I just want to give up and do nothing."

Raj, my number-one brainless fan: "The master is deep in thought. He's thinking about how to change this unjust world!"

I pull out the ration bar awarded by the System. Inner monologue: "This thing gets stuck in my throat."

Raj: "Look! The master conjured an energy bar out of thin air! This is a miracle beyond our time!"

Seriously, do you Indians have some kind of passive talent for making things up?

I do one little water-purification experiment, and you call it the "Sacred Vortex Filter"?

I put up a shed to grow potatoes, and you call it "Mother Earth's Bounty PLUS"?

Help! I never wanted to be a thought leader. I just want to retire early and lie flat!

But when my "potato merchandise" becomes a bestseller across India, the gentleman in New Delhi can't sit still.

Me: "Report! I can explain! This is purely a business venture!"

[System notification: Your fan club has surrounded the Prime Minister's Office. Please