“The Jade Emperor? Not even a dog would take that job!”
But the System says: It's a lifetime appointment. No quitting. The only way to break the contract is death.
His name is Hao Xiaotian. He was once a wisp of pure energy in primordial chaos, and after transmigrating, he spent ten thousand years watching the primordial world from the sidelines:
He stood at the front when Hongjun preached, just so he could hear better.
He munched on melon seeds while the Three Pure Ones debated the Dao, and gave Nuwa's creation of humanity a bad review.
When the Tongtian Sect Master set up the Immortal-Slaying Formation, he sold “spectator tickets” outside Kunlun Mountain and grinned as the offerings rolled in.
He'd hoped for ten thousand years of peace and quiet, but Yuanshi, Laozi, and Tongtian tricked him together:
“Fine.”
“You can be the Jade Emperor.”
He opened his eyes...
The Celestial Court was a half-finished construction site, grass grew at the Southern Heavenly Gate, and there was dog urine on the dragon throne.
The Investiture of the Gods was a list of problem employees: Shen Gongbao wanted to rebel, the Nine-Tailed Fox was a wanted criminal, Bi Gan had no heart, and Zhao Gongming was waiting in line in the Underworld...
The budget was in the red, employee satisfaction was at -100, and ordinary people didn't even know the Celestial Court existed!
Worse still, his younger sister Yunhua had an affair with a mortal and was being pursued by the entire immortal world, while his three-year-old nephew Yang Jian split open a mountain with one punch and roared, “I'm not a demon!”
And this was only the conflict between the Chan and Jie sects. The terrifying part was that a certain monkey was waiting further down the road.
Luckily, he was bound to the [Celestial Court Management Simulator]:
Build a peach economy, introduce an incense tax, and establish KPI reviews for the immortals.
Recruit the God of War Yang Jian, restore the bonds of family, and have Yunhua become the Celestial Court's first goddess spokesperson, selling peaches!
When the Investiture Ceremony began and all 365 gods were forced to clock in for work,
Hao Xiaotian stood before the Hall of Miraculous Mists and gazed coldly at the heavens:
“Yuanshi, Laozi, Tongtian... The mess you dumped on me, I'll
