My Little Pony: the Great Inventor

I think this is an encouragement to the author. Sometimes the plot seems too messy (the protagonist was unconscious one second before the chapter has passed, and then dreaming the next second, without giving the reader any buffer space, and sometimes the time span is too frequent). The descriptions are okay (although sometimes it is embarrassing). Daily descriptions The picture is too small and can be expanded appropriately (not only to flesh out some of the characters, but also to increase the number of words). The protagonist needs to participate in the plot, but describing how much equipment the protagonist has (and not describing it in detail, it is a sudden appearance), but also describing the protagonist being defeated, and finally ending with the protagonist group coming out, seems too much It's strange, I don't know where the focus is. For another example, if the protagonist disappears for 7 years, instead of writing a bunch of inner reactions of the protagonist (too deliberate), it is better to use his conversations with other ponies and subconscious reactions to reflect what he has experienced. Also, don't make the character's personality too superficial (for example, if Rarity keeps talking about boyfriend and girlfriend, it would be better to use a different expression every time, so that it won't look so superficial) Now let me start to praise. The author's control of the emotional line is still very good (but sometimes don't use too much force in the description of Huang Mao, just appropriate). It can also reflect the good relationship between the heroine and the hero in daily life. It is indeed very sweet. I have also read a lot of pony fans, which is very good. I also hope the author will work hard! (If the author has any questions, please ask, I will try my best to reply)