The world came crashing down the second I spaced out in math class.
I’m Chen Fan, an ordinary high school student, and suddenly three old-timers moved into my head:
General Zhao Yun nags me to practice spear techniques every day, scolding me for being “worse than his horse at Changban Slope”;
The scheming dragon is always plotting to dig up people’s ancestral graves for treasure, and even tricks the panda into chewing on my homework;
And the panda takes the cake. It drools while gnawing on a fire hydrant, and whenever a fight breaks out, it insists on sitting on the enemy’s face to “win them over with cuteness.”
Spirits are running wild across the globe, mythical beasts from the Classic of Mountains and Seas are strolling down the streets, and legendary figures from history have teamed up to give people “cheat abilities.”
I’m stuck with three bickering spirits, fighting my way from campus to the rest of the world:
The dragon controls water and floods a bully’s hideout, then turns around and drenches me in mud;
The panda chews through a villain’s black iron shield, then burps a faceful of metal scraps at me;
Zhao Yun spears an enemy general, then suddenly shouts, “There are teeth marks on this spearhead!”
Other people awaken spirits and become big shots. I awaken spirits and become their babysitter.
Then one day, the dragon says it wants to tear down the gates of the demon realm and make a nest for the panda. Zhao Yun quietly sharpens his spear. “I’ll go with you.”
Me: ??? You guys are taking this way too far!
This was supposed to be about surviving the apocalypse. How did it turn into a comedy adventure starring three old-timers?!
