I’m an egg.
The day I hatched, a golden-haired monkey tried to steam me as a delicacy.
I rolled over and knocked his Golden-Banded Staff aside. “Keep yapping and I’ll pluck you bald and pickle you into dried monkey!”
In the end, the guy cried and called me Egg Bro, carrying his staff around as my bodyguard every day.
The Celestial Court sent a fairy maiden to persuade me to surrender? I rolled over and put a dent in the Southern Heavenly Gate.
The Buddha tried to trap me? I rolled his lotus throne into an egg roll.
Sun Wukong squatted beside me, clapping his paws. “Egg Bro, you’re awesome! When are you going to roll flat Spirit Mountain?”
