The Word "Love" Is Written Wrongly, and I Feel Confused for Half My Life.

Xu Yaonian is a respected geological expert. And I am just a rural woman who graduated from high school. We have been married for 40 years, and Xu Yaonian has been dissatisfied with our marriage for 35 years. After his sudden death, I finally had control over the remote control and time to myself. I watch soap operas that Xu Yaonian calls meaningless every day. I ate a lot of roadside stalls that Xu Yaonian once said were full of garbage. It's my 65th birthday. I ordered a durian millet for myself and celebrated my first birthday. When I was about to make a wish, my daughter, whom I hadn't contacted for a long time, called: "Mom, today is Dad's 67th birthday. Don't forget to fry some of the small yellow croakers that Dad likes to eat. By the way, Aunt Shu and I have been to the cemetery. You don't need to go again, so that Dad won't be unhappy down there..." After hanging up the phone, I froze in the extremely quiet room for a long time. After a while, I lit the candle and solemnly and devoutly made the only wish in my life: "If I could do it over again, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with Xu Yaonian." When I opened my eyes again, I went back to the day when Xu Yaonian first came to our village.