[Soul Transmigration + Comedy + Ridiculous Shenanigans + System + Invincible]
Zhuge Gang, a fitness coach who stayed up all night reading novels, dies suddenly and opens his eyes to find himself Zhuge Liang, farming in Nanyang. He binds to the [God-Tier General System], with his strength maxed out.
While others wield feather fans and silk headbands, defeating enemies with a smile, he shows off his eight-pack abs and greets people with “you old bastard,” calling them “idiots” at every turn. If he can solve it with his fists, he won’t waste time talking!
The first time Liu Bei visits, he says, “No money? Get lost!”
The second time, he says, “No girls to dance with? Get lost!”
The third time, Liu Bei grits his teeth and has eight bearers carry a sedan chair over, bringing dancers to throw a snowfield rave. Only then does Zhuge Gang finally set out, chicken drumstick in his mouth. “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?”
At the Battle of Lingling, Xing Daorong arrogantly calls out:
“Say my name and I’ll scare you senseless!”
Zhuge Gang gallops out on horseback. “I’m your dad!” One massive slap across the face makes Xing Daorong question his entire existence.
When Wu officials quote the classics, Zhuge Gang gets so annoyed that he flips the table. “What the hell are you blabbering about?” He grabs Zhang Zhao and slaps him again and again. “Do you give in? Do you give in?” The whole room falls silent, while Sun Quan and Zhou Yu’s eyes twitch uncontrollably.
Wang Lang shows off on the battlefield. Unable to out-insult him, Zhuge Gang simply charges in alone, yanks the old man off his horse, and slaps him back and forth. “So you’re the damn Wang Lang everyone’s talking about?” He beats him to death, earning the achievement [Literally Insulted Wang Lang to Death].
Cao Cao: “This man is every bit as fierce as Lü Bu!”
Zhuge Gang carries A Dou in and out of enemy ranks seven times, hacking and cursing all the while: “Cao Cao, I f*** your mother!” Furious, Cao Cao gives chase, only to watch him slip away at top speed and flip him the bird over his shoulder.
At Baidi City, Liu Bei entrusts his son to Zhuge Gang, tears in his eyes:
“Chancellor, my son...”
Zhuge Gang waves a hand. “Don’t worry. With my mighty slaps...”
I have seen gangsters, but never such gangsters.