Voldemort Is Losing It: Are the Magic Spells Balala?

When the Killing Curse meets a pink heart-shaped love beam, and flying broomsticks go head-to-head with Starshine Spin Wheels, the entire Hogwarts staff and student body collectively lose it.

Ling Xingcai, an exchange student from the Magic Fairy Castle, arrives at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters with a rainbow-colored suitcase. Her wand is a diamond-studded heart-shaped rod, and her spell is “Balala Energy, purify!” Even her magic comes with background music and dazzling effects.

A troll goes on a rampage in the girls' bathroom? She transforms in a flash of glamour and ties it up in a rainbow ribbon like a gift box with a bow.

Dementors suck out happiness? She unleashes a “positive energy beam” worthy of a concert, illuminating them until they ascend on the spot.

Voldemort casts dark magic? She pulls out her ultimate technique: “Accept the great explosion of love!”

Snape's cauldron produces strawberry pudding, Malfoy is forced to dance for peace, and Dumbledore gives her internship report an A+💯

Ling Xingcai: “I hear you have a bundle of negative energy here called Voldemort? Let me give it a deep-cleansing purification spa!”

Voldemort: ... Is it too late to drop out tonight and run away?!

(All sweetness, no angst. Balala magic turns the Harry Potter world rainbow-colored. Warning: may cause uncontrollable laughter!)