Reborn as the Golden-Banded Staff: The Monkey Begs Me to Stop Fooling Around

Overworked office drone Li Lang dies from working overtime and is reborn as Sun Wukong's Ruyi Jingu Bang! He's even bound to a bizarre System that makes him rust if he doesn't stir up trouble?

Now that's got me wide awake!

When Sun Wukong wreaks havoc in the Dragon Palace, I swipe the Dragon King's secret stash too. When the monkey is trapped beneath Five-Finger Mountain, I pass the time teaching him physics and setting up Wi-Fi, while turning the local earth gods and mountain gods into all-around entertainers.

On the journey to the west, Tang Monk chants the tightening spell? I activate “Divine Signal Jamming” right away. The old monk chants until he's gasping for air, while the monkey doesn't have a scratch!

When we face female demons, I volunteer to transform into a heart-shaped lollipop, driving the monkey into a fit of rage!

Sun Wukong finally breaks down. “Ancestor! Fine, I'll call you Grandpa Rod! Please stop messing around. You're turning these eighty-one trials into a taxpayer-funded vacation!”

Me, thinking to myself: “This is nothing! I haven't even ruined the Buddhas' KPIs in the Western Heaven yet!”